Adjusting to Parenthood & Necessary Encouragement

Hormonal Changes After Birth

During pregnancy, the hormones Progesterone and Estrogen are elevated. These contribute to making Serotonin, which is why during pregnancy, you feel generally more happy and excited for what's to come. After birth, these same hormones make a dramatic drop. We then add to that processing any difficulties from birth, beginning breastfeeding struggles and hormones, and the overall shock of new parenthood. It is a lot for anyone to go through! Any education/information you can get during pregnancy on hormonal changes that will occur afterwards is so helpful. Especially when it comes to giving yourself grace. If you've already been down this path, you may reflect and ask yourself what the hardest part was for you. Maybe it was spontaneous crying, new parent anxiety, or sadness over the loss of independence. Maybe it was a combination of all of those things! You may come up with a different answer when you ask yourself which thing you think was the hardest part for your significant other to adjust to. With this in mind, let's look at adjusting to parenting roles with sensitivity...

Sharing Responsibilities and Communication

Timing is everything. When it comes to deciding who does what, or maybe even what is not currently working, before the fact is ALWAYS less tense. Make a game plan, but keep in mind that it doesn’t have to be followed exactly. Communicate the main things that would alleviate your stress. Help explain what you’re going through emotionally and physically so your significant other doesn’t feel they are the problem. And what if they are? Well, still approach this lightly and try to communicate what would help. Remember that all of the tasks you take on as mom may not necessarily need to be done by you. Again, maybe this post has you thinking that this time has already come and gone, and that these tips would have been nice then! But some of this can still apply for general life with kids! Does anything in particular piling up Still bother you more than anyone expects? Maybe by now you have found a way that is best to communicate your needs to your support people. Possibly face to face, lists posted, etc… Maybe it could be time to try a new approach.

How Dad Can Be Helpful to You and Bond with the Baby in Unique Ways

Dads can and tend to do things differently when it comes to many things that are baby related. As moms, we may feel that our way is the "right way", but we should ask ourselves if it really will make that big of a difference when dad does certain things his way. Instead of it being a me vs. you thing, by compromising in small ways, you can help Dad to build confidence in things like bath time so that can be your break time. Everybody wins! But it is normal to have some new parent anxiety over something like this. You can also encourage baby-wearing with Dad. Alone time with Dad and your baby is a huge thing that can be started in small ways. You could consider going on a walk for 20 minutes each day, and although it may feel weird at first, you might find it is the perfect getaway for you. If your baby can't see you, they are sometimes able to more easily bond with Dad during that alone time.

Encouraging One Another & Giving Each Other Slack

We have probably all heard that even the least bit of breastfeeding encouragement increases our chances of continuing to breastfeed and be successful. In a similar way, encouragement as a new parent overall will boost our confidence and overflow to our baby. What we feel, they feel. This takes constant work and adjustment from both parents. Some words of advice from experience:

Cut one another slack in the middle of the night- everyone is adjusting. Revisit the whole topic in the morning and reassure each other.

Learn together, remember to breathe, and enjoy the moments where things are lighter. Tackle the hard things together.

Don’t forget to go on dates when it becomes possible!

It will get easier and you will find your new normal- I promise! The picture on this post is a great illustration of how much words & encouragement matter for the whole family. Absolutely everyone who has a baby goes through this relationship adjustment period, and no one automatically knows how to handle it. You can do this as long as you commit to communicating, and with as much love and respect as possible!