Things I Learned in My First Years of Parenting

A little humor for you because if we can't laugh, we might not be able to stop crying!

Here is a little list I came up with when reflecting on those first few chaotic years of new parenthood and some of the more valuable lessons I learned. If I was still in the thick of those baby and toddler days, I'm sure I'd have so much more to say. I hope this helps and makes you feel a little less crazy!

Your instincts are there for a reason- trust them.

Your baby doesn’t know that you sometimes don’t know what to do, they just love and trust you regardless.

Learn to not apologize to others when it comes to your parenting decisions. It can be hard at first!

Sleep deprivation can be brutal and you need to take care of yourself.

Having a mentor who has gone before you in the parenting world is priceless.

Social media is not a depiction of real life, especially in new parenthood. Don’t fall into the trap and find ways to guard it from taking over your mental state. People got along just fine before the internet!

Actively find moments to just enjoy your baby. Not watching the clock, the charts, graphs, etc!

Introducing your child to the world and everything about it is one of the greatest honors in life.

They will be who they already are no matter how much you try to influence their preferences. Learn to laugh about God’s sense of humor.

Your spouse and other family members will have a different way of doing things, and 9 times out of 10 it is really all going to be okay! Try not to sweat the small stuff.

Going back to work is hard, but you CAN make it and it will get easier. Guard taking care of yourself especially then.

New parenthood is an opportunity to get to know the realest version of yourself that has been waiting to emerge. It's raw, humbling, and can make you become more self-accepting like never before.

Your house will be a wreck OR you will look ready for the day, but you can never have both. And in the first year it's mostly neither of those things.

You and your spouse will go through major changes in your relationship, but you can recover. Sleep deprivation is a huge motivator in these changes.

You will find that it can be extremely hard to find mom friends where both the moms and the babies/kids hit it off well. Toddlers can just be jerks sometimes and their moms can be lovely. Hang in there. You'll find your mom soul mate! Keep trying until you find her.

Your body will go through major changes and you will need to tell yourself that it's only going forward, never back. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate that you carried a human being or beings. However, insecurities are normal. Focus on taking care of yourself in whatever ways you can.

Sometimes, a lot of times, you will feel so lonely as a new parent. Either lonely in the load that is on you as a mom, lonely that you haven't found your mom friends yet, or lonely that it's just you and your little baby most of the time. Finding ways to prioritize date nights or having coffee with a friend is so important.

No matter what anyone else says or does, its ultimately you who has to live with the decisions you make for your family. Do what your instincts are screaming, even if everyone else is doing the opposite.

Love,

Nikki